At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou-Anne. a lovely 25 year old. Since her new husband is so old, Lou-Anne decides that after their wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Lou-Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected “knock” on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Morris, her 85 year old groom ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Lou-Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Morris. Again he is ready for more “action”. Somewhat surprised Lou-Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves. She is set to go to sleep again, but you guessed it - 85 year old Morris is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25 year old ready for even more “action”. And once again they enjoy each other.

As Morris set to leave again, his young bride says to him, “I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris”.

Morris, somewhat puzzled and embarrassed, turns to Lou-Anne and says, “You mean I was here before?”

Chickens

My uncle John was in the fertilised egg business when I was young. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters whose job was to fertilise the eggs. My uncle kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn’t perform well went into the pot and was replaced.

Now this took an awful lot of time. So my uncle got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by listening to the bells.

My uncle’s favourite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was, but his bell had not rung all morning. Uncle John went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing. Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn’t ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Uncle was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the County Fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation. The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Prize, but also the Pullet Surprise.

Man Found Dead

A local man was found dead in his home in Brooklyn, NY, this weekend.
Detectives at the scene, found the man face down in his bath tub. The tub had been filled with milk and corn flakes and the deceased had a banana protruding from his backside. Police suspect a cereal killer.